Recruitment adverts in the morning

"all this thrusting corporate gobbledegook feels like jabbing an icicle of frozen vomit into my head"

At 8 am recruitment advertising is horrible. But I'm looking for a job so it's best to start early.

You wake up. In my case, I feel warm, snuggled and in love with my wife. I make tea for us both (very English!), and then it's straight into:

"Dynamic and innovative from its very conception, Tesco Personal Finance is one of the fastest growing and most successful financial services companies in the UK."

OR

"The purpose of the role is to assist the Product Manager in delivering “best in market” product propositions and campaigns to meet the needs to customers and clients"

OR

"Manage an activity plan for the UK Strategy Team, based on a strategic agenda agreed with line management and the UK unit’s Executive Team, which takes into account team resources and prioritisation of projects."

At 8am I feel like a loving, content and rounded human being. That's why all this thrusting corporate gobbledegook feels like jabbing an icicle of frozen vomit into my head.